


I'm home

by kiyoomichan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Break Up, Character Death, Depression, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hospitals, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:34:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26880745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiyoomichan/pseuds/kiyoomichan
Summary: Tsukki decided to ask Kuroo about his wellness even if it leads to an argument or fight he needs to know if his boyfriend is alright or not.“Are you okay Tetsu?” Tsukki’s voice was calm yet full of worry. Kuroo looked at him and smiled, knowing Kenma might have mentioned something to the younger.“I’m fine Kei. Did you talk to Kenma?” Kuroo still didn’t drop his smile and tilted his head a little. Tsukki nodded in response. “Don’t worry Kei, I am really happy right now with my life.”Tsukki was not a bit convinced since he could slowly see why Kenma was worried about Kuroo.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kozume Kenma, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi, Kuroo Tetsurou/Original Female Character(s), Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 10





	I'm home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SeriesOfWords](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeriesOfWords/gifts).



> This fic is basically written for a friend of mine. she wanted to read Kuroo angst so I wrote one for her. I hope y'all will like it. :) 
> 
> Kuroo is depressed but doesn't show it. Everyone is concerned for him but he is just smiling. Tsukki is heartbroken.

“Kuroo-san?”

…

“Kuroo-san?”

…

“Tetsuro?”

“Yeah?”

“Why didn’t you reply when I was calling you before?”

“I was just waiting for you to call me by my name Kei~”

“Tsk”

Tsukishima went back to his work keeping an eye on Kuroo. They were dating for a year and never in once, Tsukki knew why Kuroo spaced out sometimes. Two years and Tsukki didn’t know anything about Kuroo other than his friends, well that’s what Tsukki always thought. Sure he knew Kuroo more than Bokuto and Akaashi at this point, but he knew there is more to what the perfect Tetsuro Kuroo is shown to the world. He was a sly bastard, always had a smirk on his face, always playful around everyone, was serious when needed but always had his guard up and won’t let anyone in. At this point sometimes Tsukki doubted why they were together if Kuroo can’t open up with him completely. But it wasn’t something he could force out of the older boy. He always knew what to say to shut the younger’s mouth (playfully) but he never said what bothers him. Tsukki had his problems, his OCD, his anxiety regarding almost every decision but Kuroo was always there for him. Encouraging him, pushing him to his limits, supporting him in every step of his life but did Tsukki know what Kuroo was going through? No. 

  
  


_It all happened 3 months ago when they met Kenma. Kenma came back from Russia after he met with some board members for his game to be launched in that country, the deal was set and he wanted to celebrate with his best friend Kuroo. Kuroo invited Tsukki with him and Kenma invited the Karasuno love birds (Hinata and Kageyama). It was off-season so Tsukki and Hinata could take some days out of their training to relax. Kageyama didn’t join them because he went to meet his sister Miwa. During the hangout, Kenma asked Kuroo about how he was and how he was dealing now. Tsukki didn’t understand what Kenma meant by that. Sure Kenma was meeting Kuroo after 6 months and they would occasionally talk on call but mainly related to work or volleyball or their partners. Tsukki have never heard them talk about anything apart from that. Tsukki was curious, he knew they were childhood friends and Kenma knew a lot about Kuroo than he knew but that didn’t stop the jealousy. When Kuroo and Hinata went to order their food while Kenma and Tsukki were eating, Kenma turned to Tsukki with a serious and intimidating aura._

_“Is he alright?” That question honestly shocked Tsukki, why wouldn’t be Kuroo alright? Their relationship was going perfectly even with the distance, they talked whenever they were free and spent the time together during holidays. Why wouldn’t Tetsuro be alright?_

_“What do you mean Kenma-san?” Tsukki asked with his eyebrows raised._

_“I asked, ‘Is he alright?’” Kenma asked the question again, looking at Tsukki like he was analyzing him._

_“Yes, he is. Why wouldn’t he?” Tsukki was visibly confused about why Kenma was asking him this._

_“Mmm... Alright. But look after him will you?” Kenma’s voice softened._

_“I will,” Tsukki said, looking at Kuroo. He couldn’t help himself from asking Kenma though. “Why did you ask me this question?” Kenma looked at Kuroo then back at Tsukki._

_“He needs to open up to you. At least to you.” Now Tsukki was more confused, was Kuroo not open to Tsukki completely? Kenma’s words hit him like a truck. He didn’t know what to do with this information._

_“Don’t ask him or push him to open up. It will take time. I know you guys have been together for a year now but Kuro has many problems and he won’t tell that to anyone. Not even me. He is happy with you but he needs to drop his guard down and at least let you in.”_

Now all Tsukki could think of was how Kuroo was occasionally zoning out or is in his little world sometimes. Tsukki admits he never noticed things before because Kuroo was the perfect human, even after entering into a relationship with him Kuroo always put Tsukki’s needs first. Tsukki had a hard time dealing with his anxiety and attacks, Kuroo helped him. Now that Tsukki is all better with his mental health he started noticing things about Kuroo, like how the older would sometimes have a pained expression or a sad smile while he was zoning out or how sometimes Kuroo would just look at Tsukki with fear as if he would disappear one day.

Tsukki decided to ask Kuroo about his wellness even if it leads to an argument or fight he needs to know if his boyfriend is alright or not.

“Are you okay Tetsu?” Tsukki’s voice was calm yet full of worry. Kuroo looked at him and smiled, knowing Kenma might have mentioned something to the younger.

“I’m fine Kei. Did you talk to Kenma?” Kuroo still didn’t drop his smile and tilted his head a little. Tsukki nodded in response. “Don’t worry Kei, I am really happy right now with my life.”

Tsukki was not a bit convinced since he could slowly see why Kenma was worried about Kuroo.

____________________________________________________________________________

_“Don’t worry, even if you don’t have a mom you have a loving father Tets. You have your Grandparents as well.” The girl tried to comfort the rooster hair boy._

_“Will you leave me as my mom left me?” The 13-year-old boy asked the 12-year-old girl._

_“No, I will always be with you. We both have to make sure that Kenma eats something other than playing video games. He never listens to you.” She snickered._

_“Not fair. You both make fun of me.” The rooster hair boy pouted._

_“It’s because we love you Tets.” She hugged him._

Losing his mother at a very young age left a scar in his mind. He loved his mother a lot, she was always there for him. They were a happy family, but after the car accident in which his mother died took a toll on him. He cried for days and Kenma and his friend was always there to console him. He felt loved when he was with them. They helped him out of the pit of depression. He was happy and content. The love of his life is in his arms and his best friend was there for him.

_“Tets, you like me?” The girl was surprised to hear that from the black hair male._

_“Yes, I know you don’t feel the same way but Kenma said I should confess because you should know about it and I am not gonna pressurize you. I just wanted to tell you, you can reject me if you want-” The girl kissed him in between his rambling to shut him up. Kuroo was shocked but he quickly recovered and kissed her back._

_“Ho-Ho-Ho you were also pinning over me kitten?” Kuroo asked as he lifted her so that she was sitting on his lap._

_“Ughh, shut up! Why didn’t I fall for any other 15-year-old boy or girl.” She said and she immediately realized what she said. She didn’t come out to Kuroo yet, she knew he would support her but still didn’t plan to tell him on the day Kuroo confessed to her. Kuroo understood that she accidentally slipped it out._

_“Kitten, don’t think much. I will support you. Well if I didn’t then that would be hypocrisy because I’m also Bi.” She smiled looking at her boyfriend and pulled him for a kiss._

It was the first time Kuroo ever confessed to someone. He found both boys and girls attractive but never had a crush on anyone except her. She was Kuroo’s first in many senses. First girlfriend, first crush, first kiss, first date, and many more. He was also her first in many things. She wanted to keep the relationship a secret. Only a couple of people should know because her family didn’t allow her to have a boyfriend of her own. The Christian family considered all this as a sin. Kuroo knew her family problems so he never complained about it. She was everything to him. Seeing her smile is the only thing he wanted. He met her aunts, who were more of a parent than her own. Whenever her parents did something to humiliate her she went to them and her parents hated that. Her aunts were also Christians but they were married in a lesbian relationship and they always said that they would love to adopt her if they get a chance.

_“You know, you are the best Tets!!” The girl hugged him. It was her 17th birthday and Kuroo bought her a lot of gifts._

_“Naah, you are!” Kuroo pinched her cheeks._

_“Babe don’t do that!!!” She whined._

_“But kitten you look adorable!” Kuroo said while picking her up and placing her on his lap. “See, you are so light and so small. My small and adorable kitten.” Kuroo kissed her cheeks._

Kuroo was smiling thinking about those times, oblivious about his partner observing him. There are times he let himself think about those times where he thinks about her. She was everything for Kuroo. Contrary to popular belief Kuroo is not a perfect guy. He is not always happy and cheerful and he isn't one who always looks into the positive aspect of his life. He is suffering from depression from a very young age.

Kenma, Akaashi, and Bokuto knew about Kuroo’s relationship with her and they were always together. The 5 of them used to hang out whenever they got the chance to. During the second year of high school, Akaashi and Bokuto confessed their feelings to Kenma and the three of them have been in a relationship since then. Even though most of the time they are in a long-distance relationship they still love each other a lot. The present Kuroo envies them a lot. Sure he is in a relationship with Tsukishima but he doesn’t feel full, he feels guilty not loving Tsukishima completely as he loved her. Don’t get him wrong he tries, he tries every day but he can‘t just love him like the way he loves her.

_“Tets, promise me something?” The girl looked at Kuroo on her 18th birthday and asked him anxiously._

_“Anything for you, kitten.” he kissed her forehead._

_“Will you always love me?” she asked hesitantly._

_“Of course. Till my dying breath and even after that. You’re my home kitten.” Kuroo said, wrapping his arms around her._

_“I will love you too. Always, till my dying breath and even after that,” she said looking at him then pulling him down for a kiss._

_“But I want another promise.” The girl said in a serious tone._

_“What is it kitten?” Kuroo asked in a confused tone._

_“You will try to find love if anything ever happens to me.” The girl didn’t look away, she saw how angry Kuroo got at this request._

_“NO. Never.” Kuroo raised his voice but she didn’t budge._

_“Tetsuro, promise me.” She never used his first name until it was serious. Kuroo looked at her with tears in his eyes and nodded. They sealed the deal with a kiss._

Atsumu and Sakusa checked on him with Iwaizumi, Oikawa, and Suga in between whenever they got time. They knew about Kuroo’s problem because Kuroo went to the same therapy group sessions as Atsumu and Oikawa. Sakusa and Atsumu have been dating for a year and Oikawa, Iwaizumi, and Suga have been dating for 5 years. Kuroo considers them good friends, well Atsumu and Oikawa are his close friends now because of the therapy. He just assures them he is doing fine and he knows both the setters know it’s pure bullshit but they don’t push him. He is with Tsukishima now so everyone hopes that he would be better because hey he is in a relationship for a year. So he just let everyone believe he is fine.

_Kuroo went out with his girlfriend on a date on a Friday afternoon. After picking her up they went to a cat cafe that recently opened in their neighborhood and spent their time talking and teasing each other. It is their 6th anniversary, Kuroo is 20 and his girlfriend is 19 currently. They’re still shocked how they are maintaining their relationship even after going through so many arguments and fights. But they loved each other more than anything. She followed him through middle school and high school and now she is in the same college as Kuroo. The rooster hair boy is doing his major in business analytics and his girlfriend is majoring in astronomy. After their date, his girlfriend said that she needs to meet her friend and she’ll be back at the apartment in an hour. Kuroo called her a cab, kissed her softly, and then went back to their shared apartment. Little did he know that was the last time he would kiss her or hear her laughs or see the way she looks at him with all the love in the world. The cab only moved 10m forward and another car who was being chased by the police hit her cab and Kuroo watched how his girlfriends' cab flipped in the air and how his girlfriend was looking at Kuroo through the window with an expression mixed with fear and loss and realization that they won’t be together anymore. Everything was in slow motion. Kuroo couldn’t move his legs, he felt his whole world shatter. He felt like someone ripped his soul out of his body. He didn’t know what to do. The flashes of his mother’s dead body from the same kind of car incident crossed his mind. He froze at his spot till the car stopped rolling on the road. Without even registering he ran towards the car and tried to help his girlfriend out of the car. She was barely conscious. Kuroo called out her name again and again but she didn’t respond immediately. The paramedics came and took her. Kuroo was with her in the ambulance, he was scared to let go. Afraid if he is not with her then she’ll also leave just like his mom._

Tetsuro looked at Kenma and his other friends' messages on his phone. They were all worried about him because he got a call from the hospital that a certain patient might wake up soon. He was happy and worried at the same time. Tetsuro is 22 years old at the moment and he doesn’t know how to handle his emotions regarding that patient. He visits the hospital every week for the past 6 months because Kenma, Akaashi, and Bokuto don't let him visit daily anymore. Well, he can’t blame them, that patient is important for them as well. Tetsuro had to go, he didn’t care about anyone at that moment. He wanted, no he needed to go and visit that person. Tetsuro is helping his father with the family business and he is sitting in an office meeting. He is being angsty right now and his father is giving him concerned looks. After 5 mins his father announced a break for the meeting and everyone went out for either smoke or coffee. Mr. Kuroo went to his son to talk to him but realized his son was lost in thought.

“Tetsuro.” His father called him and shook him slightly. Tetsuro looked at his father in shock and looked around the meeting room and realized everyone left.

“Is the meeting over?” He asked with an urgency in his voice.

“No, I gave a break to everyone. But what happened? Why are you so anxious?” Mr. Kuroo’s voice was calm and sweet.

“D-Dad... She... She might wake up... The hos-hospital texted me..” Tetsuro couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. He loved her a lot and getting the news that his love might wake up, at last, was something he wanted to hear from the last two years.

“Hey buddy, that’s amazing news. Will you be taking Kei with you?” Tetsuro then realized that he has a boyfriend. He was now thinking about how to tell Tsukki about her? He has never even mentioned her to Tsukki. But he knew this day might come and he had to do it.

“Dad, I haven’t told him about her.” His dad looked at him with shock, Mr. Kuroo thought at least by now his son would have told his partner about it.

“You have to tell him Tetsu. You gotta inform him about it. It is not fair to him.” His dad said in a low voice, not to let his son go into a panic because of this.

“Yes, dad. I will. But I want to go to meet her now. What if she woke up and didn’t see me?” Tetsuro was rambling at this point. He was more concerned about her rather than anything else.

“Go to her. Tell Kei about her. I believe in you Tetsu.” His dad encouraged him. 

Kuroo rushed to the hospital and found Akaashi, Bokuto, Kenma, and Tsukki at the front gate. Tsukki was visibly confused about why everyone was in front of the hospital and why everyone was in a state of panic. Mainly why was his boyfriend Kuroo not even acknowledging his presence as well and rushing into the hospital? Kuroo rushed inside and the other 4 followed him. All four of them stood frozen when they saw the patient sitting inside the hospital ward. They didn’t expect the girl to be sitting..hell they thought she wouldn’t wake up. Kuroo rushed to the side of the girl and hugged her with streams of tears flowing down his cheeks. Tsukki’s heart sank seeing the image in front of him. He didn't know why Kuroo had hugged her like that when he hadn't even hugged him in months.

“You are awake. YOU ARE AWAKE. YOU ARE AWAAAAKKEE!!!!”, Kuroo couldn’t control his excitement, happiness, sadness… every emotion was flowing inside him. The girl in the bed smiled at him and got hold of his hand to calm him down.

“Yes. I am finally awake. Did you miss me?”, the girl asked him with watery eyes. “Of course I missed you baby. You were the only one I thought about all these days. I can’t get you outta my mind. I love you kitten. Now that you are awake, we can go back to as we were.”, what Kuroo didn't realize was that Tsukki had been in the same room as they were. Tsukki’s eyes widened as he heard those words fall out of his boyfriend's mouth. 

“How long was I out?” The girl tilted her head in question. Kuroo scratched the back of his neck before replying. “Um... Around… Two years?” The girl was in shock and she sat there and looked at her hands sinking in the information.

After 2 minutes Akaashi coughed to make Kuroo and the girl realize their presence. The girl tilted her head and saw them standing beside. “Keiji, Kou, and Kenma!” The girl was evidently happy to see her friends again. After being in a coma for this long and practically declared as dead was scary for everyone. She wanted to jump at them but she couldn’t so she made grabby hands to which the three of them complied. Akaashi hugged her first, trying not to hurt her in any way but couldn’t help to stop the happy tears that escaped his eyes. Bokuto engulfed her with a warm hug. He was smiling and crying at the same time. 

Kenma looked at her and scoffed. “I HATE THAT YOU MADE ME AND MY BOYFRIENDS CRY AND I HATE THAT YOU MADE KUROO CRY!” Everyone was silent for a moment because Kenma never shouts at anyone. The girl started laughing looking at Kenma and the fake blonde sat on the bed and hugged her. Everyone let out a sigh of relief. “I missed you too Kenma!” She chuckled and Kenma buried his face at her shoulders. The girl noticed the blond tall boy who was looking at the whole scene with terrified eyes. She turned to Kuroo when she and the blonde made eye-contact.

“I didn't notice that you got another friend here. Aren’t you gonna introduce babe?”, she looked at Kuroo in question.

“Oh yeah!” As if breaking out of a trance, Kuroo looked at Tsukishima and realized what situation it had turned out to be. “Kitten this is Tsukishima Kei. I have told you about him, remember the Karasuno first-year middle blocker?” She nodded and smiled brightly towards the blonde. Tsukishima couldn’t do anything, not even nod. He was looking at the girl as if he had seen a ghost.

“Uhmm... Tsukki! This right here is…. Caitlin”, Kuroo kissed the girl’s forehead as he introduced his first love. 

Tsukishima’s whole world shattered. He wanted to run away from there but his legs were not moving a bit. He was scared, terrified even but he couldn’t say or do anything. He doesn’t know when he started crying but he realized he couldn’t breathe properly. Kuroo came and helped him sit down in a chair. Everyone was concerned for the blonde who almost fainted. Tsukki held his head and looked around, trying to imagine this is all just a dream and nothing else. Kuroo asked Tsukki if he was okay and the blonde nodded his head, not trusting his voice around his boyfriend well now most probably his ex-boyfriend. Kuroo asked him if he wanted to talk alone regarding things he nodded again. Kuroo went to Caitlin and kissed her forehead and told her that they’ll be back soon. Caitlin smiled at both of them and assured Kuroo that she is fine and he doesn’t need to worry. 

Once Tsukishima and Kuroo were out of the room, Tsukki felt like he could breathe a little. They went to the hospital garden and sat there in silence until Kuroo broke it. “She is Caitlin. You might have seen her back in our high school days. She is... “ before Kuroo could form a sentence to describe what their relationship is, the blonde interjected him “I heard that she died.” Kuroo immediately stood up, he was about to yell but controlled himself. “She didn’t die. She was in a coma for the past 2 years. Now she is awake. Finally, I could hear her voice and look her in the eyes.” Kuroo fondly smiled as Tsukishima observed him sitting on the bench.

“We should end our relationship. NOW!” Tsukishima emphasized the last word and Kuroo gave a sad smile. He saw this coming, he knew that the break-up was inevitable. He didn’t try to fight it. He sat down in front of Tsukishima and held his hand. Tsukki was about to yank his hand away from Kuroo’s grasp but the rooster haired boy had a stronghold of his hands.

“Thank you for the past year Kei. I knew this would happen eventually but you gave me hope to live on and not to give up. I was happy with you. I am happy with you. When I told Cait that I will we can go back as we were I honestly wasn’t thinking about a relationship with her but I do love her. I love you too but I can’t love anyone more than her Kei. She is finally awake. All my life I have only known to love her and cherish her. She gave me hope just like you when all was done in my life and I wanted it to end. I can’t think of myself without her by my side. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being with me. Thank you for giving me the hope I wanted when she wasn’t there. I will love you always Kei. You were my moon. My hope in the darkness. The only smile which kept me going. I am really sorry that I didn’t even tell you about her. I am sorry I asked everyone to keep it a secret because I couldn’t bear talking about her when she was like that. I know what I did isn’t fair but Kei, I’m really sorry. I really am.” 

Kuroo doesn’t know when he started crying but he cried a lot. Tsukishima gently wiped down his tears while crying himself.

“I hate you for keeping this a secret. I love you too Tetsuro. I wish you could love me the way you love her. I saw how happy you have been after seeing her. I understood then and there you were never mine. It’s been a year Tetsuro and you haven’t hugged me like that or looked at me like that. You were there for me as well when I lost all hope and will to live. You made me realize what I am and how I can live even without you. You were there but then also you never were completely there with me. I am sorry I couldn’t see it before Kenma-san asked me if you were alright. I love you too. I am angry at you but I am willing to forgive you.” 

Kei had a soft smile on his lips and Kuroo was crying his eyes out. For the past year and a half, Kuroo stopped crying and started bottling up his feelings. Now that he finally could cry he didn’t stop himself. They sat there for more than an hour. Holding each other and crying. People who were passing by gave sympathetic looks towards the boys without knowing the actual reason. After they calmed down Kuroo booked a taxi for Tsukishima and like that Tsukishima Kei was out of Kuroo’s love life. 

Kuroo went inside the hospital and went to the top floor where his beloved and his friends were. When he entered they were chatting to each other. Kuroo stood at the entrance and looked at them with a happy smile. He was finally happy. Finally feeling like he came back home after two years of wait. He was happy and content. He went to her and kissed her suddenly with all passion. Cait froze at first but eventually kissed him back. The doc came in to check on Caitlin and everyone stood aside. Cait was still flustered from the kiss and Kuroo looked proud and red. The doctor asked some questions and did some tests on her. It took 4 hours to complete those tests. When they were done, Cait was back in the same room. The doctor asked Kuroo to join him in the office so that they could discuss Cait’s health.

“Caitlin is awake but I can’t say for certain about her condition. This might be temporary but her vitals are very low. She might live but I can’t say for how long. She’s slowly dying.” Kuroo’s happiness went away. He couldn’t understand why this was happening. Cait just woke up and she might not live long? Kuroo was upset and on the verge of crying. Suddenly a nurse came barging in and only said one name “Caitlin” the doctor and Kuroo sprinted to the room and saw Kenma, Akaashi, and Bokuto holding each other crying. Kuroo was asked to stay outside with his friends and the doctor went in and tried to stabilize Caitlin’s condition. They said she was having a heart attack because the blood flow was extremely low. But nothing was to be done. They tried and tried and tried but nothing could stabilize her and like that Caitlin died in front of Kuroo. While he couldn’t do anything. He just stood there and watched everything happen. 

The doctor came out and apologized for the loss. The doctors and the nurses were crying because Cait died. Everyone got attached to the sweet girl and seeing her die just after a few hours of waking up was the last thing they expected. 

Kuroo started running, he heard Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kenma shouting his name he didn’t pay any attention to that. He ran outside the hospital, wanting to run away and thinking that this was just a dream. How can he lose everything in a matter of half a day? What did he do to deserve this? Was he that much of an asshole that the universe decided to give him all the pain? 

He couldn’t think straight anymore. He was not even looking where he was running and suddenly he was in the middle of a road. He turned around to see Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kenma shouting him to get away from the middle of the road. He just stood there. He smiled at them for one last time and thought about Cait and then everything went black. Akaashi started crying and Kenma broke down. Bokuto couldn’t believe he lost two of his best friends on the same evening. Three of them went where Kuroo was laying in a pool of blood and held him and cried.

When Kuroo opens his eyes he saw a girl standing next to him. He grins at her and pulled her down to kiss her. 

“You are stupid you know?”

“I know Kitten.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“Didn’t mean to but I couldn’t stay in a world where you are not. You are my home.”

“Then welcome home Tetsu.”

“I’m home Cait.”


End file.
